Most of you out there know that I can't have kids. For whatever reason, that is the path God has chosen for my life. While that is a very hard reality to face, My hubby and I plan to adopt when God allows. That being said, I have many conversations with people about not having children. Sometimes the things I hear from people really blow my mind.
The most recent conversation I had was with my family doctor (who's been my doctor since I was six) and therefore should have a pretty good idea how much the thought of being a mom means to me. I was explaining to my doctor how hard it is emotionally to deal with not having children, especially in a time where the majority of my friends are starting their families. While I know that God is working out a perfect story of how our family comes to be, it is still hard watching everyone around me start their families. Anyway, I was blown away when his response was one of relating all of it to money. He started telling me about a good friend of his who could never have children and how he had just taken his wife on a vacation (to some tropical place that I can't remember the name of) and how they had front row tickets to all of the shows and how if they had had children, they wouldn't have all that money to do those things.
I just sat their with a blank stare on my face thinking "does he really think I care about money and vacations? I just want to be a mom." I'm kinda blown away with people thinking that I (or any other childless woman) really would rather have money for extravagant trips than a child, or two or three. :) I didn't go into it with him anymore. I just let it go and left the office shaking my head. I'm glad that conversation wasn't the purpose of my visit to the doctor, or my money would have been wasted.
So the moral of the story is: No amount of money could replace the longing to have a child of my own. But I also know that God has a special story waiting to be unfolded and I will adopt children one day. I also know that it is okay to grieve my loss when I need to. And, until my own children come along one day, I will spoil everyone else's and love them like my own!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
7 Random/Weird Things
So, I got "tagged"....Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. I like my glass half full....of soda that is. And not in a "glass" glass, I prefer a plastic one please; filled with ice, but not just any ice. Crused ice only please, and make it to the top of the cup. Then pour the soda in, but only part of the can to begin with, not the whole thing. I like to refill it a little at a time. Oh, and I like to drink through a straw as well.
2. I play the clarinet, or used to. I am sure I still could but presently it sits in my old closet back at my mom's. I loved playing it and even made section leader in marching band in junior high. I think it is one the THE most beautiful instruments ever!
3. I LOVE to sing and listen to music. Of course usually you will hear me singing along to the music that is playing. I was in choir most of my life and even performed at Disneyland in high school. That was one of the most memorable things of my childhood.
4. Speaking of Disneyland, I LOVE that place. Ask me where I'd like to go on vacation and that will be my answer 99% of the time. I do think there is something magical about that place and I turn into the biggest kid ever when I am there. I even convinced my hubby to go on our honeymoon there.
5. I have a heart for kids. I really miss teaching and youth ministry. Those are my passions in life. I can't wait to be a mom. That is all in God's timing though.
6. I love to read. Once I start a book I have a VERY hard time stopping. I will sacrifice sleep to finish what I am reading. I've even been known to wake up early just to finish the book I am reading. And often I will be in the middle of two or three books at a time.
7. I am a nightowl. I function way better at night than I do early in the day and I don't believe anyone who says that it is a matter of training your body. I love to stay up late and sleep in and that is the way I function the best. I don't like having to go to bed at night. Of course, that could have something to do with my sleeping issues. I have a very hard time falling asleep at night. I can lay in the bed for hours and not be able to fall asleep!
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. I like my glass half full....of soda that is. And not in a "glass" glass, I prefer a plastic one please; filled with ice, but not just any ice. Crused ice only please, and make it to the top of the cup. Then pour the soda in, but only part of the can to begin with, not the whole thing. I like to refill it a little at a time. Oh, and I like to drink through a straw as well.
2. I play the clarinet, or used to. I am sure I still could but presently it sits in my old closet back at my mom's. I loved playing it and even made section leader in marching band in junior high. I think it is one the THE most beautiful instruments ever!
3. I LOVE to sing and listen to music. Of course usually you will hear me singing along to the music that is playing. I was in choir most of my life and even performed at Disneyland in high school. That was one of the most memorable things of my childhood.
4. Speaking of Disneyland, I LOVE that place. Ask me where I'd like to go on vacation and that will be my answer 99% of the time. I do think there is something magical about that place and I turn into the biggest kid ever when I am there. I even convinced my hubby to go on our honeymoon there.
5. I have a heart for kids. I really miss teaching and youth ministry. Those are my passions in life. I can't wait to be a mom. That is all in God's timing though.
6. I love to read. Once I start a book I have a VERY hard time stopping. I will sacrifice sleep to finish what I am reading. I've even been known to wake up early just to finish the book I am reading. And often I will be in the middle of two or three books at a time.
7. I am a nightowl. I function way better at night than I do early in the day and I don't believe anyone who says that it is a matter of training your body. I love to stay up late and sleep in and that is the way I function the best. I don't like having to go to bed at night. Of course, that could have something to do with my sleeping issues. I have a very hard time falling asleep at night. I can lay in the bed for hours and not be able to fall asleep!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Happy with a Young Star
I watched the Barbara Walter's Special after the Academy Awards tonight and was very pleased with a young star she was interviewing. Miley Cirus (age 15) was asked the question "When you look at other young stars, Brittany and Jamie Lyn Spears, Lindsey Lohan; how can you be sure that you are not going to turn out the same way?" Miley answered by saying (as best I can remember) "Well, for me it comes down to having a family I can fall back on and who are honest with me, and my faith. For greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world."
I was blown away. Here is a young fifteen year old fully immersed in Hollywood who appears to still be staying grounded in her faith. I think it is awesome and just wanted to share on here. She is a young star who has quite an influence on the young girls in America right now and I think it is wonderful that she is pulling through this being a positive role model for the girls looking up to her. Some may find it funny, but I want to remember to pray for Miley, that she may continue to stay grounded in her faith and that young girls in our society can have a positive role model from Hollywood.
Anyone have any other thoughts?
1 John 4:4
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
I was blown away. Here is a young fifteen year old fully immersed in Hollywood who appears to still be staying grounded in her faith. I think it is awesome and just wanted to share on here. She is a young star who has quite an influence on the young girls in America right now and I think it is wonderful that she is pulling through this being a positive role model for the girls looking up to her. Some may find it funny, but I want to remember to pray for Miley, that she may continue to stay grounded in her faith and that young girls in our society can have a positive role model from Hollywood.
Anyone have any other thoughts?
1 John 4:4
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
Thursday, February 21, 2008
A Late Thursday Thirteen - Blessings Edition
For all of you bloggers out there, I know I am supposed to get the "Thursday Thirteen" posted early in the day. However since I didn't, I thought I'd end the day with a Blessings Edition of the Thursday Thirteen.
13 Things I have been blessed by this week:
1. God's amazing love
2. The beauty of nature
3. Long walks in the park
4. New friends
5. Close friends who are more like sisters (you know who you are)
6. A wonderful new church family
7. My husband
8. My mom and brother
9. My grandpa's smile (even with fighting Leaukemia)
10. The miracle of babies
11. Music
12. Other people's blogs
13. The home that God has given me.
What have you been blessed by this week? Comment me and let me know!
Blessings to everyone this week.
13 Things I have been blessed by this week:
1. God's amazing love
2. The beauty of nature
3. Long walks in the park
4. New friends
5. Close friends who are more like sisters (you know who you are)
6. A wonderful new church family
7. My husband
8. My mom and brother
9. My grandpa's smile (even with fighting Leaukemia)
10. The miracle of babies
11. Music
12. Other people's blogs
13. The home that God has given me.
What have you been blessed by this week? Comment me and let me know!
Blessings to everyone this week.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Walking, and Talking and Walking
Today was my normal day off, which is starting to include a nice walk in Bidwell Park. I had to make sure to get that walk in today as it is supposed to start raining tomorrow for the next several days. I've been blessed with a new friend, turned walking partner, and we have started meeting up for these walks on Monday afternoons.
We both talk a lot, and there never seems to be a lull in conversation. This would explain why we ended up walking eight miles today, right?
Yes, yes...you read correctly, today we walked eight miles. Why? Well, we were talking and neither one of us decided to ever say anything about crossing over to start back to where we started. So we kept walking, and got clear to the end of the park where it meets the road where we finally crossed the bridge to start turning back.
We talked a lot about family, church, Christianity and life in general. We talked about how Christianity is a gift, and how we just want to be able to share the gift with people; How as Christians we need to live our lives as an example of Christ so that people can see this gift we've been given. We as Christians should not have to be pushy and shove our Christianity in people's lives. People should be able to see that something is different in our lives, and then they can ask questions if they want to know more.
We both shared stories about people in our lives' who have asked questions about church, and God and our lives without us needing to be forceful about our Christianity. We can't force this gift we've been given on other people. It is their choice to take it.
So today's walk reminded me of the question: You can walk the walk, but do you talk the talk? My thoughts on this "Christianese" saying is this: Our walk must be evident of a relationship with Christ, and the words that come out of our mouth need to be edifying of Christ. However I don't believe that "talking the talk" needs to include being forceful with our words of our Christianity. People don't like Christianity shoved down their throats. We must be sensitive to the people in our lives and know when they are ready to hear something about Christ. If they see our lives edifying Christ, they will see this gift we've been given. When the time is right, they will ask questions and Christ will make evident to us the words to say to them.
I am just reminded that our Christianity is a gift from God, and we can not force anyone else to accept that gift.
We both talk a lot, and there never seems to be a lull in conversation. This would explain why we ended up walking eight miles today, right?
Yes, yes...you read correctly, today we walked eight miles. Why? Well, we were talking and neither one of us decided to ever say anything about crossing over to start back to where we started. So we kept walking, and got clear to the end of the park where it meets the road where we finally crossed the bridge to start turning back.
We talked a lot about family, church, Christianity and life in general. We talked about how Christianity is a gift, and how we just want to be able to share the gift with people; How as Christians we need to live our lives as an example of Christ so that people can see this gift we've been given. We as Christians should not have to be pushy and shove our Christianity in people's lives. People should be able to see that something is different in our lives, and then they can ask questions if they want to know more.
We both shared stories about people in our lives' who have asked questions about church, and God and our lives without us needing to be forceful about our Christianity. We can't force this gift we've been given on other people. It is their choice to take it.
So today's walk reminded me of the question: You can walk the walk, but do you talk the talk? My thoughts on this "Christianese" saying is this: Our walk must be evident of a relationship with Christ, and the words that come out of our mouth need to be edifying of Christ. However I don't believe that "talking the talk" needs to include being forceful with our words of our Christianity. People don't like Christianity shoved down their throats. We must be sensitive to the people in our lives and know when they are ready to hear something about Christ. If they see our lives edifying Christ, they will see this gift we've been given. When the time is right, they will ask questions and Christ will make evident to us the words to say to them.
I am just reminded that our Christianity is a gift from God, and we can not force anyone else to accept that gift.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Sunset
A clear night,
A hill far away.
Reminders of God’s faithfulness
Can come if they may.
Still waters I see
And the sunlight’s hue,
But it’s so much more
That comes into my view.
When trials come
And questions arise,
I see this picture
And know that God is wise.
So intricate in detail
And maker of great things.
Just look around at nature
To see what great things God’s love brings.
Too much to handle?
What can I do?
Shouldn’t this picture
Give me a clue?
God is much bigger
And wiser than I.
It’s time to give it
To the One Most High.
More Than You Can Handle - Part Two.
So, I want to clear up some confusion from my last post. The point I was trying to make in a somewhat confusing way I think, is that God is not going to give us more than He is able to carry us through. I often find myself in trials where I just don't understand how I can possibily go through these things, so many of them at once. And then I think about how God will not give us more than we can handle.
So what does that mean exactly? I think it means that God is bigger than all of this "stuff" that we go through in life. God will not give us something that He cannot get us through. Sometimes God allows us to go through trials to make us stronger and grow and learn to lean on Him. Therefore my mentalitiy of "God won't give me more than I can handle" should be switched to "God won't give me more than He will see me through." I know Christ is able to "handle" anything and it is up to me to lean on Him and allow him to mold me and carry me and teach me.
James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
So what does that mean exactly? I think it means that God is bigger than all of this "stuff" that we go through in life. God will not give us something that He cannot get us through. Sometimes God allows us to go through trials to make us stronger and grow and learn to lean on Him. Therefore my mentalitiy of "God won't give me more than I can handle" should be switched to "God won't give me more than He will see me through." I know Christ is able to "handle" anything and it is up to me to lean on Him and allow him to mold me and carry me and teach me.
James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
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