So I haven't posted in awhile now. Too much going on, and not a lot of inspiration to write. I still don't have anything too terribly profound to write but thought maybe I should post something so everyone knew I was still alive!
The main thing I am learning in life right now is to follow your heart, passions, and to use the gifts God has given you in the direction he leads you. Anytime you try to mold your life to something that is not 100% God's direction...you will know. I am discovering that yet again in life and feel God leading me in a new direction. I don't know how to get there exactly but I do know that somehow, I (and my husband) must find a way to be at the center of God's will for our lives. My heart and passion is not being used where I am at in the professional world right now, and needs to be, desperately.
I went to school to be a teacher, but because of many health issues, was not able to finish my BA degree (three classes short) and was forced to quit my student teaching job. I then found a job where I could work from home, which allowed me to manage working and deal with the pain I face from my health issues. I've tried to make this work and take life in a new direction, but my heart and passion is for kids. That is where I want to be. This week I was driving and passed a class walking down the street on a field trip. Every part of my being wanted to be that teacher, leading that class. I am meant to work with children. I know that is what God created me for. I feel God leading me back there. I don't know how to get there, and I don't know how my health will hold out. I do know I feel God's leading on my life, that it is time to get back to my passion. I want to finish my degree and get my teaching credential. I am waiting for God to show me the rest of His plan. I feel His prompting though, and I know God is speaking.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Worth it All
Just a quick post as I want to share the lyrics with everyone to a song I love, that really picks me up when I am down. It talks about living for God and putting our trust in Him. A simple, and short song that I think says it all. "Worth it All" is sung by Rita Springer.
Here are the lyrics:
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You can find Rita on myspace at: http://www.myspace.com/realritaspringer
This song is on there for you to listen to. It is also on my myspace for those of you who are friends with me on there!
Blessings to you.
Here are the lyrics:
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You can find Rita on myspace at: http://www.myspace.com/realritaspringer
This song is on there for you to listen to. It is also on my myspace for those of you who are friends with me on there!
Blessings to you.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Children and Money
Most of you out there know that I can't have kids. For whatever reason, that is the path God has chosen for my life. While that is a very hard reality to face, My hubby and I plan to adopt when God allows. That being said, I have many conversations with people about not having children. Sometimes the things I hear from people really blow my mind.
The most recent conversation I had was with my family doctor (who's been my doctor since I was six) and therefore should have a pretty good idea how much the thought of being a mom means to me. I was explaining to my doctor how hard it is emotionally to deal with not having children, especially in a time where the majority of my friends are starting their families. While I know that God is working out a perfect story of how our family comes to be, it is still hard watching everyone around me start their families. Anyway, I was blown away when his response was one of relating all of it to money. He started telling me about a good friend of his who could never have children and how he had just taken his wife on a vacation (to some tropical place that I can't remember the name of) and how they had front row tickets to all of the shows and how if they had had children, they wouldn't have all that money to do those things.
I just sat their with a blank stare on my face thinking "does he really think I care about money and vacations? I just want to be a mom." I'm kinda blown away with people thinking that I (or any other childless woman) really would rather have money for extravagant trips than a child, or two or three. :) I didn't go into it with him anymore. I just let it go and left the office shaking my head. I'm glad that conversation wasn't the purpose of my visit to the doctor, or my money would have been wasted.
So the moral of the story is: No amount of money could replace the longing to have a child of my own. But I also know that God has a special story waiting to be unfolded and I will adopt children one day. I also know that it is okay to grieve my loss when I need to. And, until my own children come along one day, I will spoil everyone else's and love them like my own!
The most recent conversation I had was with my family doctor (who's been my doctor since I was six) and therefore should have a pretty good idea how much the thought of being a mom means to me. I was explaining to my doctor how hard it is emotionally to deal with not having children, especially in a time where the majority of my friends are starting their families. While I know that God is working out a perfect story of how our family comes to be, it is still hard watching everyone around me start their families. Anyway, I was blown away when his response was one of relating all of it to money. He started telling me about a good friend of his who could never have children and how he had just taken his wife on a vacation (to some tropical place that I can't remember the name of) and how they had front row tickets to all of the shows and how if they had had children, they wouldn't have all that money to do those things.
I just sat their with a blank stare on my face thinking "does he really think I care about money and vacations? I just want to be a mom." I'm kinda blown away with people thinking that I (or any other childless woman) really would rather have money for extravagant trips than a child, or two or three. :) I didn't go into it with him anymore. I just let it go and left the office shaking my head. I'm glad that conversation wasn't the purpose of my visit to the doctor, or my money would have been wasted.
So the moral of the story is: No amount of money could replace the longing to have a child of my own. But I also know that God has a special story waiting to be unfolded and I will adopt children one day. I also know that it is okay to grieve my loss when I need to. And, until my own children come along one day, I will spoil everyone else's and love them like my own!
Monday, March 10, 2008
7 Random/Weird Things
So, I got "tagged"....Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. I like my glass half full....of soda that is. And not in a "glass" glass, I prefer a plastic one please; filled with ice, but not just any ice. Crused ice only please, and make it to the top of the cup. Then pour the soda in, but only part of the can to begin with, not the whole thing. I like to refill it a little at a time. Oh, and I like to drink through a straw as well.
2. I play the clarinet, or used to. I am sure I still could but presently it sits in my old closet back at my mom's. I loved playing it and even made section leader in marching band in junior high. I think it is one the THE most beautiful instruments ever!
3. I LOVE to sing and listen to music. Of course usually you will hear me singing along to the music that is playing. I was in choir most of my life and even performed at Disneyland in high school. That was one of the most memorable things of my childhood.
4. Speaking of Disneyland, I LOVE that place. Ask me where I'd like to go on vacation and that will be my answer 99% of the time. I do think there is something magical about that place and I turn into the biggest kid ever when I am there. I even convinced my hubby to go on our honeymoon there.
5. I have a heart for kids. I really miss teaching and youth ministry. Those are my passions in life. I can't wait to be a mom. That is all in God's timing though.
6. I love to read. Once I start a book I have a VERY hard time stopping. I will sacrifice sleep to finish what I am reading. I've even been known to wake up early just to finish the book I am reading. And often I will be in the middle of two or three books at a time.
7. I am a nightowl. I function way better at night than I do early in the day and I don't believe anyone who says that it is a matter of training your body. I love to stay up late and sleep in and that is the way I function the best. I don't like having to go to bed at night. Of course, that could have something to do with my sleeping issues. I have a very hard time falling asleep at night. I can lay in the bed for hours and not be able to fall asleep!
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. I like my glass half full....of soda that is. And not in a "glass" glass, I prefer a plastic one please; filled with ice, but not just any ice. Crused ice only please, and make it to the top of the cup. Then pour the soda in, but only part of the can to begin with, not the whole thing. I like to refill it a little at a time. Oh, and I like to drink through a straw as well.
2. I play the clarinet, or used to. I am sure I still could but presently it sits in my old closet back at my mom's. I loved playing it and even made section leader in marching band in junior high. I think it is one the THE most beautiful instruments ever!
3. I LOVE to sing and listen to music. Of course usually you will hear me singing along to the music that is playing. I was in choir most of my life and even performed at Disneyland in high school. That was one of the most memorable things of my childhood.
4. Speaking of Disneyland, I LOVE that place. Ask me where I'd like to go on vacation and that will be my answer 99% of the time. I do think there is something magical about that place and I turn into the biggest kid ever when I am there. I even convinced my hubby to go on our honeymoon there.
5. I have a heart for kids. I really miss teaching and youth ministry. Those are my passions in life. I can't wait to be a mom. That is all in God's timing though.
6. I love to read. Once I start a book I have a VERY hard time stopping. I will sacrifice sleep to finish what I am reading. I've even been known to wake up early just to finish the book I am reading. And often I will be in the middle of two or three books at a time.
7. I am a nightowl. I function way better at night than I do early in the day and I don't believe anyone who says that it is a matter of training your body. I love to stay up late and sleep in and that is the way I function the best. I don't like having to go to bed at night. Of course, that could have something to do with my sleeping issues. I have a very hard time falling asleep at night. I can lay in the bed for hours and not be able to fall asleep!
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