My Blog Has Moved

Hi Friends.

So this is what happens when you are married to a media designer. He tells you blogger is no longer the "cool" thing and insists you get a better blog. So my friends, I have moved over to wordpress. Here is the link:

http://thedianestory.wordpress.com/

Pretty much the same address, it's just wordpress, rather than blog spot. Come on over and check out my new blog! A new post is waiting for you!

Love and Blessings,
Diane

Sunflowers

Sunday morning I was in a lot of pain and did not make it to church. In fact, when my hubby got home I was still in bed, and did not get up for even two more hours after he was home from church. When I woke up and went to the living room, he had these sunflowers sitting on the coffee table for me.

How sweet is that? It was totally unexpected and it brightened my spirits. I love him so much. It was just what I needed.

Today as I was looking at them, and watching them being drawn towards the sun at the window, I started thinking about my walk with God. How does my life thrive? It thrives when I am drawn towards the SON. When I am seeking first God's kingdom and seeking God to direct my life, I thrive.

So next time you see a Sunflower...I encourage you to think about how being drawn towards the SON, will help you thrive in your life.

Matthew 6:33
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

My First Sewing Project!

So here are pictures of my first sewing project. It's a burp cloth that I am giving to a girl on my property who just had a little baby boy yesterday. I've made two more to go with it now too. They are nowhere near perfect, but I am happy that I was able to at least create a descent looking first final project!

Stay tuned for more projects. Thank you Mommy Reg...One for letting me use your idea of a creation, and two....for helping me when I ran into probelms and was frustrated along the way!

Thank you Mom for my sewing machine and the fabric to make my first project. I am so happy to be learning how to sew and am having lots of fun! I love you.

Emotional Meltdown

Last Sunday at church, July 20, 2008, I was overwhelmed with emotions. It was a hard, but good, interesting morning. Over the weekend my pain had been pretty intense so I was growing weary as it was. So that morning at church I was super sensitive to the on-goings around me. My friend Brittney just had a baby a couple weeks ago, and she goes to my church as do her parents and siblings. All but one sibling that is, who lives across the country and just had a baby girl of her own. However, she was in town visiting this weekend, and the two sisters were meeting up at church and getting to meet their niece/nephew for the first time. I was there to watch the moment and it was amazing. Seeing two new moms, sisters, coming together with children for the first time was amazing. It could have been a MasterCard commercial: Airplane ticket across the country - $600, diapers, wipes and outfits for the trip - $200, sisters meeting their children for the first time – Priceless. Some things in life just can’t be bought. For everything else – there’s MasterCard.

As amazing and precious as the morning was it hit my emotions hard. Most of you know I cannot have children due to complications from endometriosis, so it is bitter sweet for me seeing close friends having babies. I thought I was doing fine that morning at church, but those close to me could tell I was not okay. Everyone from church was sitting in the foyer area, and our pastor had just begun to pray to open us up for the morning. I was sitting with my arms folded across my chest, and my dear friend Molly was sitting next to me. Soon I felt Molly’s arms around me and her soft voice whisper “it’s okay.” That’s all it took for the tears to begin to flow freely from my eyes. The touch from Molly felt like nothing less than the presence of an angel. It felt so warm and so safe, and I was finally able to release emotion like I have not ever done before.

I had a hysterectomy in May of 2006, making it a reality that I would never have children of my own. Since that time there have been many emotions for me to work through. Close friends have had children, co-workers have had children, and families where I live continue to grow. I thought I had been working through my emotions, and I thought I was doing better. But this Sunday morning at church, I found myself hurting, and found myself able to release emotions in a new and complete way. I cried so hard, and so much that morning, I didn’t even know there was that much pain inside of me. I could not stop crying. Molly sat with me in the foyer for awhile, and then she left me to be with my husband for a bit. Nate sat with me for awhile and then we made our way into the sanctuary and I tried to make it through service. However the tears still kept flowing and I had to excuse myself several times to get more tissue.

It was a hard morning, but also a very good morning for me. God has given me a precious gift in Molly. She is so in tune with the Holy Spirit and she allowed the Spirit to guide her to comfort me. I shared with Molly that it seriously felt like an angel when she put her arms around me, and she told me that it was totally the Holy Spirit who told her I was not doing okay. I know for sure that we were in the presence of God that morning. I have never felt so safe to release emotion than I did that morning. I don’t even feel like I was in control that morning. It was completely the Holy Spirit working to heal my heart. I made progress that morning. It was draining, but very much needed. I felt God in a new way. I felt his presence more than I have ever experienced him before.

Thank you Jesus for healing my heart. Thank you for the precious friend you’ve given me in Molly. Thank you for giving her a discerning spirit and a heart to minister to those around her. Thank you Jesus for a loving husband who is here to support me when I am hurting. And thank you Jesus for creating families just the way you want them to be created. I know you are writing our family story and I cannot wait to see your perfect plan.

How Time Changes My Thoughts

So tonight my mom bought me a sewing machine. My first sewing machine. I was SO excited. She bought me some fabric to practice with and some sewing necessaties. I was thanking her so much and then she said "I was just never sure my daughter was ever going to want to sew." And that reminded me of conversations we'd had some years ago and me telling my mom that I just didn't think sewing was going to have much of a place anymore. I just didn't see myself really at a place in life of sewing projects and clothes and things.

Then I grew up. And I met some friends who sewed. I became close with one friend in particular who has taught me so much and encouraged me in more aspects of life than I can even begin to thank her for. She's taught me to cook, bake, a little basics of sewing, and more. Her sewing projects encouraged me to want to learn. And I've been talking with my mom about it. My mom quietly listened and then this week informed me she was buying me a sewing machine. So I have my new machine and practiced making some stuff tonight. Well, I didn't really make anything, unless you consider a very thin ice pack cover a successful project. Actually, if I had made it out of thicker material I would have been pretty successful at it. Anyway, after that I just sewed some material together and practiced stitches and stuff. Also practiced making pockets on it too. So it was fun. My back was killing me from the way I sitting by the end of the night, but it was fun. I can't wait to do more.

Momma Reg...Mom got me a carrying case for my machine and it makes it very portable. So, I am coming over with my machine and we are having sewing nights. You've got to teach more more stuff! I am so excited.

Thank you mom for your precious gift. You know you are too good to me. I am so grateful for you in my life. I love you so much and could never ask for a better mother than you. I love you mom.

Back from Vacation - A Late Update

Hi friends. Sorry I haven't written since I have been back. I honestly can't believe how fast time is going. There literally just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. Since I've been home my time has been so divided that I have not been able to spend time with the one's I love in equal amounts, and that is driving me crazy! With work and other commitments I just am struggling to get everything done. What does one do when she feels so overwhelmed?

For some reason this week I am having a very hard time mentally to keep it all together. I don't feel like working, I mean...really don't feel like working. I just had a vacation but yet I feel mentally overloaded. What am I supposed to do to get over that feeling? It hasn't happened to me in awhile, I am struggling to overcome it.

Anyway, so a little about my trip. My brother flew down to Disneyland and suprised my mom by showing up. We had kept it a secret that he was meeting us down there. Both of our flights were delayed so that we ended up hitting the runway at the same time. I literally saw my brother's plane taxiing to the gate as we were. So, baggage areas were at different areas for the different airlines. My brother hadn't checked any baggage, so he was able to just head over to ours (mom's and mine). Mom and I had just come out of the restroom and were walking back to the baggage area when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turned around and it was Danny. I told him to hush, and go tap mom on the shoulder. So he tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around, but did not see him. Then she turned back around the other way...and there he was. She said "What are you doing here?!" It was awesome and a much needed surprise for our mom.

Okay...that is the first part of my vacation and update blog. It's late and I need to head to bed. I will do my best to write more tomorrow, k?

Love to everyone!

This and That

Hey friends! So for my regular readers I wanted to post something so you new I didn't fall off the earth this week. It's just been very crazy!

Monday one of my tenants threatened to shoot a Sheraton employee, so I had to leave my home for two days and was not allowed to return to work until today. So it's made the week crazy, especially when I am leaving tomorrow for vacation and now lost two days of getting prepared!

Today my friend, Brittany Hibdon, had her baby boy. His name is Culton Huston Hibdon and he was born at 2:41am. I can't wait to meet him!

Last night while shopping at Winco (groceries) my husband recognized someone and couldn't place her. Then he said "isn't that your old co-worker"? I looked up and it was an old friend who I have been trying to find. She was my Assistant Camp Director for Girl Scouts when I was Camp Director. We had really hit it off, and then she moved and we lost contact. So, I am so excited to find her and I can't wait to spend some time together and catch up.

So, tomorrow my mom and I are leaving for Disneyland! Yep, that's right. I am SO excited. Of course, most of you know how crazy I am over Disneyland, so that should not come as much of a surprise!

Well, I'm tired and need sleep. Have a great week and I will post pics when I return!

Thursday Thirteen - Blessing Your Husband

I've been working hard this week to bless my husband in little ways. I am trying so hard to be a wife/woman of God to my husband. So here is a list of thirteen ways to bless your husband. Some of them I have done, others I will try to do. Not all will apply to everyone's relationship, but the point is for we, as wives, to think about how we can be a blessing to our husband.

1. Surprise him with a special night in - Dinner and a movie, table decorations and all for dinner.

2. Leave your husband cards to find at different times (Leaving for work, by the computer, by his dinner plate)

3. Bake him dessert in a heart-shaped pan (Brownies and Cake work well)

4. Keep a tight reign on your mouth and remember not to "nag".

5. Get dressed up just for your husband. We don't always need to dress "comfy and frumpy" just cause we can. Our husbands like to see us "cute and sexy" too!

6. Make a point to take interest in what they are doing, even if it is something you really may not enjoy.

7. Do something around the house that you would usually ask them to do (for me it is doing the dishes and taking out the trash)

8. Clean the house before they come home from work.

9. Go to bed with them even if you not tired and don't have to be up as early as them, and you know they will be out to dreamland in 2.5 seconds. Men like to know their wives are next to them.

10. Make your husband a lunch to take to work. (If you are not a morning person, pack it the night before and put it in the fridge).

11. Buy them something at the store just because you are thinking of them. (This does not have to be anything expensive. It's the thought that counts)

12. Send them a text message during their work day to say I Love You.

13. Remember to repeat your thirteen things you come up with to continually bless your husband.

Not Always a "Special Occasion"

Life's been crazy busy recently. Lot's of stuff going on and always running between work and other commitments. So today was my day off. My softball team was supposed to have a game tonight, but because of poor air quality due to fires, it was canceled. So I decided this gave me the perfect opportunity to get some groceries and make dinner, beings that I haven't cooked a decent meal in about two weeks now.

I decided I wasn't in the mood for one of my "normal" meals. You know those ones where you know the recipe inside out and could make it in your sleep? Yes, those ones. So I perused the aisles at Trader Joe's trying to come up with something new. I decided on Turkey Filets, wrapped with Bacon. My sides included corn on the cob and mashed potatoes. While I was cooking dinner, hubby was in the other room so I had the front of the house to myself. I decided to make a special evening out of it, and cleared off the dining room table, set out two votive candles, found a floating candle in the cupboard and decided to make a floating candle dish as well. So I found my small crystal candy dish, filled it with water, put the silver rose floaty candle in it and placed it in the center of the table. Then I went out front to my roses, picked some pink petals and put those petals around the floaty candle. Then I decided to write hubby a card with a cute little poem and have it by his plate at dinner.

Then I got our plates prepared, lit the candles and called hubby in to dinner. No "special occasion" needed to have a special, out of the norm, meal with an element of elegance. I'm tired so I will upload a picture of it off my camera in the morning.

For now,
Diane

Five Years

June 19, 2003 I embarked on what would be a journey of my lifetime. What would start as a friendship and blossom into a soulmate began with my Nathan. Nate and I officially decided we were "together" on this date five years ago. Our relationship was really ordained by the Lord. See, despite what others thought because of our age difference, we decided to journey through life together and see where God led. It was really the first time in my life that I stopped listening to the voice of man, and started being confident in the voice of my God.

I had prayed for awhile about my friendship with Nathan and if God thought I should pursue it beyond friendship. What God told me was that my Nathan was His gift to me, if I would choose to accept it. I nurtured this precious gift God gave me and pursued this relationship further. Our story of how we became engaged seems less romantic to some because I knew it was going to happen, but if you can understand how our whole relationship evolved, you would see that God was in each step.

Our relationship began as a friendship, and that friendship just continued to grow. It was evident to us very quickly that we were looking at our future spouse when we looked into each other's eyes. And so as our friendship developed we began talking about marriage and when we should marry. So we really had our wedding planned before he even asked me to be his wife. So our engagement wasn't exactly a "surprise" to me, but rather the confirmation of my precious gift from my Lord.

So though we got married August 5, 2006 I count today as a milestone in our relationship....our five year "anniversary" of our relationship which is our gift from God to each other. I am so blessed to have this man in my life and so blessed to have a God who would grant me such a gift.

Thank you Jesus for knowing just what I need and blessing me so. Thank you Nathan for being such a loving husband. I LOVE YOU!

Marriage in California

Somehow I must have missed the news last month, which is probably because of my grandpa's death. Tonight I just read in our local newspaper that on May 15, 2008 the California Supreme Court legalized same sex marriage. Are you kidding me?! I am sick to my stomach right now, and feel moved to get on my knees and pray for my country. What made me even more sick is that California will be changing the wording on the Marriage licenses on June 17, 2008 to read "Party A" and "Party B" instead of "Bride" and "Groom."

If I were not married already I do believe I would get married out of this crazy state. I don't know how much longer I can stand to live in California. People we need to pray for the morality of our country. We must get to what our founding fathers founded this country on, and to be.

In God I trust.

Time to Catch Up - June 10, 2008

It's been a few weeks since my last post and so much has happened, which is why I've been distant from the blogging world. After Nate's Birthday, we still had my birthday to come, the funeral for my beloved grandfather, graduation for a dear friend of ours and of course life as we know it day by day.

I've included pics from some of these events. Our friend Nick Hightower graduated from Chico State on May 25th and we went to his party that afternoon. Nick and his beautiful wife Molly are in the picture above at his party with Nate and myself. We are so happy and proud for Nick. Great job friend!

My birthday was the next day and I had a good day despite the circumstances with Grandpa's passing. I got my nails and hair done that day, and then my mom-in-law through me a party that night with all the family. You can see pics of my new hair above. One of me with Nate, and one of me at dinner. The party was very nice and I felt so loved to have all the family gather for me. I do believe that was my first "family" party just for me. It was nice and made me feel wonderful. That evening after the party I got to hang out with my sis-in-law for a couple of hours too, just the two of us. She is an amazing person who I feel blessed to call my sis. It was wonderful to spend some time with her. Late on my birthday night, my mom and I headed to Sacramento to pick up my brother as he was flying in for grandpa's funeral. He is proud of the fact that he got here for my birthday too. So it was a nice day.

May 29 we burried grandpa. The funeral was amazing. That may sound weird to some, but I am just blown away at the love I felt for my grandpa and at how wonderful the service turned out. I played the piano at the funeral, which was the first time in ten years I have played in front of people. That was a huge thing for me, for one because I was paying tribute to my grandpa, and for other reasons that I will share in another blog another time. Anyway, then my brother and I sang "In the Garden" which we had sang at grandma's funeral seven years ago. Family even remembered we sang it at grandma's which blew me away. So that was special. Then I read a poem I wrote for grandpa. The pastor who did the service is a former pastor of mine, and very dear friend. He did an amazing job in the service and really honored my mom for her caretaking of my grandfather, and honored us as a family for how close we are. It was incredible and I feel very blessed. Then, when we got to the graveside service, the verterans were there when we pulled up. This was a surprise to us, as we had tried to arrange for that, but were told it was not going to happen. So, to pull up and see them there was incredible. The presented my mom with a flag and did their tribute to my grandfather for his service to our country. It was an amazing sight. Finally we came to Chico for a reception which friends had put together for us. It was very nice to have a place to gather after services and not have had to worry about the details. Thanks to all who helped with that, if any of you read this.
Finally I want to say thank you to Molly for her support through the passing of my grandfather. Molly went to corning with mom and I to make funeral arrangements, and then she came to the funeral, sat with me and my family and held me as I cried into her arms. She walked me to the casket after the service ended and helped me say goodbye to my grandpa. Her words and support were incredible and I am so blessed. Thank you Molly, you are a gift from God.

So, the picture of me and Nate with the ride in the background, and the picture of the butterfly were taken at Six Flags, Discovery Kingdom. The weekend after the funeral, Mom, my brother, myself and my hubby decided to get out of town and spend some family time alone, away from the stress of the week. So, we went to the amusement park and just relaxed. I must say it was just what we needed and we had a great time.

Well friends, if you are still reading this, you are truly devoted. I will try to keep up with postings again so you all don't have to read something so long again!

Thank you to all who have gotten me through the passed 3-4 weeks. I love you.

Happy Birthday Nathan!

Today was my hubbie's birthday. My camera with the pictures on it is in the car, so pictures will have to come later. However I just wanted to praise God for today, for allowing me to still celebrate my husband even with the hard times going on right now. I spent the day with my mom working on funeral arrangements and taking care of things related to grandpa's passing. However this evening, I was able to take my husband to dinner, with his parents. We went to Sierra Nevada Brewery as Nate had never been there before.

When I came home to meet my husband for dinner, I brought cupcakes I had baked at my mom's. I didn't have them frosted and decorated yet, so I still needed to do that. It was perfect though because when I got home, Nate was running to the store. So while he was gone I worked on them getting them ready. Nate came home right as I was finishing up, so he saw me putting the finishing touches on them, but that was okay. He was excited.

Now I praise God for today because I wanted to bless my husband with cupcakes, as he loves them. I wasn't sure how I was going to pull his birthday off with me being so busy and mourning my grandpa's death. But I figured I could find time to bake cupcakes. Now, I was using what was on my mom's shelf and all she had was a carrot cake mix. (I would have baked another kind from scratch, but my recipes all call for the milk and eggs and butter mixture to sit for thirty minutes, which I did not have), so I was using a box mix, but carrot cake was all my mom had on the shelf. While Carrot Cake is my favorite, it is not my husband's. However, when I presented the cupcakes (on a cupcake tower) to my husband, he was so happy. He grabbed the one at the top of the tower (the one MOST decorated of course) and chowed down. He said they were good, so I was happy. I was kind of worried I might hear "I don't like carrot cake", but no....my husband was grateful for what I could do. And he had more than one thoughout the night which tells me that he actually did like them.

So, I praise God for the small things. For finding time to bake for my husband's birthday, and for carrot cake...who knew my husband would delight in carrot cake cupcakes? It was awesome.

Cupcakes, a nice dinner, and a relaxing evening. It was a nice night.

Now, I better attempt to get some sleep...that is still hard for me right now as the memories creep in when I sleep. I miss my grandpa.

My Grandpa Valente

Hello friends and family. I write tonight broken and confused. I have sad news to share this evening, as my Grandpa Manuel Valente (Mom's Dad) has passed away. We received a call from the nursing home about 5:30 this evening saying his blood pressure was very low and asked if we wanted him transported to the hospital. We said yes and met them there.

Upon arriving, my mom found him not coherant and the doctors said it did not look good. They were doing a chest x-ray when I got there. Mom met me out in the waiting room, and then went back in to check on grandpa and said she'd be back in a few minutes. I started making some phone calls to family and then received a call about five minutes later from my mom, telling me grandpa had died. It all happened so fast, it is crazy. My mom said grandpa was not conscience when she went in there, but she put her hand on his head and told him it was okay. It was then that his heart rate just went down fast, and he was gone in a matter of moments. I got the staff to get me back there immediately and found my mom in the room with my grandpa and the doctor. The doctor was an amazing comfort to my mom until I got in the room. When I arrived he left us alone and told us he was there if we needed him.

I stood and hugged my mom for a few moments. A friend, and former pastor, was there with us and helped us get through those first few moments. He started making the appropriate calls to the mortuary and such. Mom and I then stepped outside to get some air. We were told we would need to wait for the coroner before leaving the hospital as they would need to take a report. We met with them briefly and were able to leave shortly. We then went to the care home, collected his belongings and went home to my mom's house. We are here now processing what has happened and realing in the reality that he is gone. No matter how long we have been preparing for this day, nothing can really prepare you for the moment it happens. You just have to rest in God's arms and allow Him to carry you.

It is amazing how awesome God is. Friends, my brother was here from Michigan visiting this weekend. He flew back to Michigan this morning. Last night my mom, brother, myself and my husband all went together to visit grandpa. He was coherant and we had a conversation with him. My brother and I both hugged grandpa. I looked directly in his eyes and told him twice how much I loved him. This would be the last time I saw my grandpa alive. I praise my God for allowing my family to be together one last time with grandpa. I praise Him that I was able to say goodbye to my grandpa like that and let him know how much I loved him. I praise God for allowing my grandpa to see his family together and know that his daughter would be taken care of. I truly believe that my grandpa knew he could let go after seeing everyone together again. I think God showed him peace that we would be okay.

Though death is not easy, and this is a very hard loss for my mom and family, I will praise my God for remaining faithful. I will praise my God for sustaining me. He will be my fortress and strength. We will be okay, with God's help.

Thank you friends and family for all you have done. For all of you have been there to pray, offer encouraging words and hold my hand, I thank you. I praise God for you.

I am going to try to get some sleep, if I can. I will keep you updated on the happenings.

Love you All.

Quirkiness

Well I have been tagged by Momma Bug and so I am complying and playing the game. Actually I don't mind at all, it's just last month or maybe the month before I played the Seven Random Things about myself meme, and so now I am going to try to come up with six more quirky things? Is that possible?! Okay, those of you who know me well can stop laughing at me now....

1. I cannot stand to see or listen to people cracking their knuckles. It makes me want to puke. Seriously...it's worse than nails on a chalkboard.

2. I can't sleep to the sound of silence. It must be cool and there must be the sound of a fan humming. Without it, I will not sleep. Good thing my husband likes the exact same thing (isn't it awesome how God gives us even the littlest things like that).

3. I have to read every page in a book. I can't skip the intro. or preface or dedication, or any of it. If I do, I just can't say that I've read the entire book. And I feel guilty for skipping parts of it.

4. If I am sharing a drink with someone, say my husband for example, I go balistic if they hang on to the cup instead of setting it back down when they are not drinking it. If I go to take a drink and they are holding it,...well, I go crazy. (Note to pre-marital counselors....advise husbands to have a separate drinking glass...LOL)

5. I like clocks to be set ahead by about five minutes...it's some trick to me mentally to have more time than said clock says.

6. Last, but definately not least...I HAVE to have bath towels folded a certain way. If you're not going to fold them they way I like...I may as well fold them myself. They just don't sit on the rack properly otherwise.

Okay, now that you all think I am crazy I am going to tag other people in an attempt to make myself look less crazy. Come on now...we all have our quirks!

I Tag:

Nate (even though he won't participate cause he is too cool for this stuff...lol)

Mommy Reg

Denae

That's all I have to tag because Analene tagged the other People I know. Guess I need to make more blogging friends, huh?

Okay Analene...you better comment on my quirkiness!

Softball and Other Midnight Ramblings

It's after midnight and I should be sleeping. However once again I can't, so I thought I'd type a blog. I wish I had pictures to include for tonight cause you'd laugh your face off at Molly and I, but they are on her camera so I will have to wait to get them. But when I do, maybe you'll see them!

Tonight I had another softball game. Have I mentioned softball on this blog yet? Maybe not, so if you don't know, Nate and I are on a softball team with our church, Harvest Community. Tonight was a late game at 8:45pm. I wasn't sure I was going to make it as my pain was horrible all day. But I knew I must press through as we are kind of short on girls and I didn't want my team to be forced to forefit. So I went and played the best I could...only to find that our opposing team was a challenge to deal with. Their attitudes were ugly and I was struggling to deal with them. It was very hard to let their comments role off and keep going. Having been in pain all day, my nerves were shot and I was already edgy. My pastor and Molly helped me to keep going and encouraged me to remember that tonight it was my turn to be the example.

See we've got to remember as a team that we are representing Christ. Our team name is Harvest Community. So people figure out pretty easily that we are a church. Our team is not in this to win (even though that is always a plus), but to fellowship with each other and have some fun. We all should be striving to be an example for Christ everyday, but when we are together as a group, and it is clearly exemplified that we are a church, we have to remember to watch out attitudes and make sure we are reflecting God's love.

More than once I wanted to snap back with a comment to the opposing team, but I kept thinking "What would Jesus Do?" and I heard in my head "turn the other cheek." So I did, and I made it through. Yes we lost our game, but left with our integrity and we know that we left the example of Christ out on the playing field. Tonight, that's all that really mattered.

Happy Mother's Day

Today was a wonderful Mother's Day. I spent the day with my husband, mom and brother. We started our day off at church, and then went to lunch. Came home cleaned up the house a bit, changed clothes, and headed over to my mom's house to meet up with the family again. Mom, Danny (brother) and I played a game called Dutch Blitz and then Mom, Danny, Nate and myself went to see What Happens in Vegas. After the movie, Danny had to leave and make his way back to San Francisco fo his second week of reserve duty. Nate went home to work on a paper for school, and mom and I spent the rest of the evening together. I did come home and make sure my hubby got some dinner though!

Beings that it is Mother's Day, today could have been a hard day for me. Most of you reading this blog know of my health problems and know that I cannot have children. So, today could be a day that I could struggle to get through. However, because I chose to focus on other things, like honoring my own mom, and because of a couple of thoughtful friends, today brought a smile to my face.

This morning at church my pastor's wife (and very special friend to me) came and told me that she's been praying for me this week and this morning as she knew that today could be a hard day for me. It meant the world to me for her to tell me that. I was SO touched that she would think of me, when she has two small kids of her own and it is her day to celebrate mommyhood. She had tears in her eyes telling me, and I could feel her compassion for me. God ordained that moments friends, and I am grateful.

Then tonight I checked my check my myspace account and my best friend, Sarah, had left me a comment saying "Happy Mother's Day...You are the Best...To An AWESOME Aunty!!!" That touched my heart as well. I've included a picture of her two children who I am aunty to.

So my friends, today was an awesome day for me and I want to say thank you to those of you who helped make it that way for me. Thanks for turning what could have been a hard day, into a good one. I love you all!

A Brief Look Back

Well friends, unfortunetely I don't have anything too profound to share tonight. It's been a long week, and I am looking forward to the weekend. Work's been overwhelming and I've been quite stressed. Today God spoke to me reminding me "Do it all for the Glory of God." That struck me today. I have a hard time with that sometimes when I am stressed and irritated with what is going on around me, especially in my work situation. So, when God reminded me of that today, I tried to have a new attitude, one that was a little more positive at my outlook of today and the future. It's actually helped me a bit to carry on with what is coming my way.

1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

I'm including a pic of myself and my cat Onyx that was taken tonight. It was too cute for my mom to resist snapping a picture. He's my baby!

San Francisco Trip

These are a few pictures from my weekend! My brother is out in CA from Michigan for his navy reserve duty, and mom and I went to visit him. It is always lovely to get to see my brother, as it only happens about twice a year. We had a very nice time. We went to Pier 39 for a few hours, had some great seafood, and then headed to the store for some groceries. Went back to the apartment, made dinner together, and enjoyed another nice meal. Yes, my family likes to eat together. It's one thing we enjoy...cooking together or enjoying nice meals out.

It was a nice break to get away for a day or so even though it was short. My honey couldn't come with us as he had work and school to attend to. No worries though, my brother gets to come home this weekend, so we will spend more time together. So, that was my weekend. Thought I'd share with you all!

Contentment

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

I read Philippians chapter 4 today. There is more to digest than one can think about properly in one evening. I'm going to takes chunks of the verses and work on them in my life. I'm convicted over a few things in the chapter, and know that I can live my life so much better for Christ than I am right now. I am always striving to be a better wife, a better Christian, a better servant for Christ. What does that look like?

Being content starts with being in Union with Christ. We cannot have strength, or contentment, without seeking those things from Christ. We cannot truly find these things anywhere but Christ. Often we get caught up in worldly thoughts about how to be happy, how to be content, how to be successful. Many think you can achieve these things by making more money, working harder, or getting a promotion. But the truth is, you can crash and burn doing all those things, and still not find contentment, or strength or peace without serving God, trusting God, and leaning in His arms for strength.

I want to learn the secret of being content, whether well fed or hungry, living in plenty or in want. I want to rely on the strength I receive from God, not from anyone or anything else. I want to rest in the arms of my heavenly father and trust him to lead my life.

So, this is just a snippet of what God began speaking to me today. I'll be sharing more as the week goes on. Love and blessings to all of you!

Baking Fun

I've recently started to bake...a lot! I've been inspired by Mommy Reg, who has taught me so much and have found that I love to bake. It is very stress relieving and I love accomplishing something and blessing my husband with my homemaking skills. Now the only problem I am running into is baking the same thing and not trying other new recipes. I've tried two out of the thirteen I listed on my blog, and then baked Chocolate Chip Cookies again because my husband loves them. I do want to try more new recipes, but I've got to get out of my rutt!



I've included a few pictures of my accomplishments with the Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Thursday Thirteen (Baking Edition)

Thirteen Recipes out of my Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook I want to make (or bake as the case may be):

1. Yellow Cake
2. Oatmeal Cake
3. Banana Cake
4. Carrot Cake
5. Pumpkin Cake Roll
6. Chocolate Chip Cookies (made this week!)
7. Oatmeal Cookies (with chocolate chips)
8. Snickerdoodles (Dough is chilling in fridge as I type!)
9. Peanut Butter Blossoms
10. Blondies
11. Pumpkin Bars
12. Strawberry Shortcakes
13. Bananas Foster

I am learning to bake, and am really finding myself in it. It is so much fun and very stress relieving. Well, I am off to check on my dough!

The Thoughts in My Head

So I haven't posted in awhile now. Too much going on, and not a lot of inspiration to write. I still don't have anything too terribly profound to write but thought maybe I should post something so everyone knew I was still alive!

The main thing I am learning in life right now is to follow your heart, passions, and to use the gifts God has given you in the direction he leads you. Anytime you try to mold your life to something that is not 100% God's direction...you will know. I am discovering that yet again in life and feel God leading me in a new direction. I don't know how to get there exactly but I do know that somehow, I (and my husband) must find a way to be at the center of God's will for our lives. My heart and passion is not being used where I am at in the professional world right now, and needs to be, desperately.

I went to school to be a teacher, but because of many health issues, was not able to finish my BA degree (three classes short) and was forced to quit my student teaching job. I then found a job where I could work from home, which allowed me to manage working and deal with the pain I face from my health issues. I've tried to make this work and take life in a new direction, but my heart and passion is for kids. That is where I want to be. This week I was driving and passed a class walking down the street on a field trip. Every part of my being wanted to be that teacher, leading that class. I am meant to work with children. I know that is what God created me for. I feel God leading me back there. I don't know how to get there, and I don't know how my health will hold out. I do know I feel God's leading on my life, that it is time to get back to my passion. I want to finish my degree and get my teaching credential. I am waiting for God to show me the rest of His plan. I feel His prompting though, and I know God is speaking.

Worth it All

Just a quick post as I want to share the lyrics with everyone to a song I love, that really picks me up when I am down. It talks about living for God and putting our trust in Him. A simple, and short song that I think says it all. "Worth it All" is sung by Rita Springer.

Here are the lyrics:

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You can find Rita on myspace at: http://www.myspace.com/realritaspringer

This song is on there for you to listen to. It is also on my myspace for those of you who are friends with me on there!

Blessings to you.

Children and Money

Most of you out there know that I can't have kids. For whatever reason, that is the path God has chosen for my life. While that is a very hard reality to face, My hubby and I plan to adopt when God allows. That being said, I have many conversations with people about not having children. Sometimes the things I hear from people really blow my mind.

The most recent conversation I had was with my family doctor (who's been my doctor since I was six) and therefore should have a pretty good idea how much the thought of being a mom means to me. I was explaining to my doctor how hard it is emotionally to deal with not having children, especially in a time where the majority of my friends are starting their families. While I know that God is working out a perfect story of how our family comes to be, it is still hard watching everyone around me start their families. Anyway, I was blown away when his response was one of relating all of it to money. He started telling me about a good friend of his who could never have children and how he had just taken his wife on a vacation (to some tropical place that I can't remember the name of) and how they had front row tickets to all of the shows and how if they had had children, they wouldn't have all that money to do those things.

I just sat their with a blank stare on my face thinking "does he really think I care about money and vacations? I just want to be a mom." I'm kinda blown away with people thinking that I (or any other childless woman) really would rather have money for extravagant trips than a child, or two or three. :) I didn't go into it with him anymore. I just let it go and left the office shaking my head. I'm glad that conversation wasn't the purpose of my visit to the doctor, or my money would have been wasted.

So the moral of the story is: No amount of money could replace the longing to have a child of my own. But I also know that God has a special story waiting to be unfolded and I will adopt children one day. I also know that it is okay to grieve my loss when I need to. And, until my own children come along one day, I will spoil everyone else's and love them like my own!

7 Random/Weird Things

So, I got "tagged"....Here are the rules:


1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I like my glass half full....of soda that is. And not in a "glass" glass, I prefer a plastic one please; filled with ice, but not just any ice. Crused ice only please, and make it to the top of the cup. Then pour the soda in, but only part of the can to begin with, not the whole thing. I like to refill it a little at a time. Oh, and I like to drink through a straw as well.

2. I play the clarinet, or used to. I am sure I still could but presently it sits in my old closet back at my mom's. I loved playing it and even made section leader in marching band in junior high. I think it is one the THE most beautiful instruments ever!

3. I LOVE to sing and listen to music. Of course usually you will hear me singing along to the music that is playing. I was in choir most of my life and even performed at Disneyland in high school. That was one of the most memorable things of my childhood.

4. Speaking of Disneyland, I LOVE that place. Ask me where I'd like to go on vacation and that will be my answer 99% of the time. I do think there is something magical about that place and I turn into the biggest kid ever when I am there. I even convinced my hubby to go on our honeymoon there.

5. I have a heart for kids. I really miss teaching and youth ministry. Those are my passions in life. I can't wait to be a mom. That is all in God's timing though.

6. I love to read. Once I start a book I have a VERY hard time stopping. I will sacrifice sleep to finish what I am reading. I've even been known to wake up early just to finish the book I am reading. And often I will be in the middle of two or three books at a time.

7. I am a nightowl. I function way better at night than I do early in the day and I don't believe anyone who says that it is a matter of training your body. I love to stay up late and sleep in and that is the way I function the best. I don't like having to go to bed at night. Of course, that could have something to do with my sleeping issues. I have a very hard time falling asleep at night. I can lay in the bed for hours and not be able to fall asleep!

Happy with a Young Star

I watched the Barbara Walter's Special after the Academy Awards tonight and was very pleased with a young star she was interviewing. Miley Cirus (age 15) was asked the question "When you look at other young stars, Brittany and Jamie Lyn Spears, Lindsey Lohan; how can you be sure that you are not going to turn out the same way?" Miley answered by saying (as best I can remember) "Well, for me it comes down to having a family I can fall back on and who are honest with me, and my faith. For greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world."

I was blown away. Here is a young fifteen year old fully immersed in Hollywood who appears to still be staying grounded in her faith. I think it is awesome and just wanted to share on here. She is a young star who has quite an influence on the young girls in America right now and I think it is wonderful that she is pulling through this being a positive role model for the girls looking up to her. Some may find it funny, but I want to remember to pray for Miley, that she may continue to stay grounded in her faith and that young girls in our society can have a positive role model from Hollywood.

Anyone have any other thoughts?

1 John 4:4
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

A Late Thursday Thirteen - Blessings Edition

For all of you bloggers out there, I know I am supposed to get the "Thursday Thirteen" posted early in the day. However since I didn't, I thought I'd end the day with a Blessings Edition of the Thursday Thirteen.

13 Things I have been blessed by this week:

1. God's amazing love
2. The beauty of nature
3. Long walks in the park
4. New friends
5. Close friends who are more like sisters (you know who you are)
6. A wonderful new church family
7. My husband
8. My mom and brother
9. My grandpa's smile (even with fighting Leaukemia)
10. The miracle of babies
11. Music
12. Other people's blogs
13. The home that God has given me.

What have you been blessed by this week? Comment me and let me know!

Blessings to everyone this week.

Walking, and Talking and Walking

Today was my normal day off, which is starting to include a nice walk in Bidwell Park. I had to make sure to get that walk in today as it is supposed to start raining tomorrow for the next several days. I've been blessed with a new friend, turned walking partner, and we have started meeting up for these walks on Monday afternoons.
We both talk a lot, and there never seems to be a lull in conversation. This would explain why we ended up walking eight miles today, right?
Yes, yes...you read correctly, today we walked eight miles. Why? Well, we were talking and neither one of us decided to ever say anything about crossing over to start back to where we started. So we kept walking, and got clear to the end of the park where it meets the road where we finally crossed the bridge to start turning back.
We talked a lot about family, church, Christianity and life in general. We talked about how Christianity is a gift, and how we just want to be able to share the gift with people; How as Christians we need to live our lives as an example of Christ so that people can see this gift we've been given. We as Christians should not have to be pushy and shove our Christianity in people's lives. People should be able to see that something is different in our lives, and then they can ask questions if they want to know more.
We both shared stories about people in our lives' who have asked questions about church, and God and our lives without us needing to be forceful about our Christianity. We can't force this gift we've been given on other people. It is their choice to take it.
So today's walk reminded me of the question: You can walk the walk, but do you talk the talk? My thoughts on this "Christianese" saying is this: Our walk must be evident of a relationship with Christ, and the words that come out of our mouth need to be edifying of Christ. However I don't believe that "talking the talk" needs to include being forceful with our words of our Christianity. People don't like Christianity shoved down their throats. We must be sensitive to the people in our lives and know when they are ready to hear something about Christ. If they see our lives edifying Christ, they will see this gift we've been given. When the time is right, they will ask questions and Christ will make evident to us the words to say to them.
I am just reminded that our Christianity is a gift from God, and we can not force anyone else to accept that gift.

Sunset

A clear night,
A hill far away.
Reminders of God’s faithfulness
Can come if they may.

Still waters I see
And the sunlight’s hue,
But it’s so much more
That comes into my view.

When trials come
And questions arise,
I see this picture
And know that God is wise.

So intricate in detail
And maker of great things.
Just look around at nature
To see what great things God’s love brings.

Too much to handle?
What can I do?
Shouldn’t this picture
Give me a clue?

God is much bigger
And wiser than I.
It’s time to give it
To the One Most High.

More Than You Can Handle - Part Two.

So, I want to clear up some confusion from my last post. The point I was trying to make in a somewhat confusing way I think, is that God is not going to give us more than He is able to carry us through. I often find myself in trials where I just don't understand how I can possibily go through these things, so many of them at once. And then I think about how God will not give us more than we can handle.

So what does that mean exactly? I think it means that God is bigger than all of this "stuff" that we go through in life. God will not give us something that He cannot get us through. Sometimes God allows us to go through trials to make us stronger and grow and learn to lean on Him. Therefore my mentalitiy of "God won't give me more than I can handle" should be switched to "God won't give me more than He will see me through." I know Christ is able to "handle" anything and it is up to me to lean on Him and allow him to mold me and carry me and teach me.

James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

More Than You Can Handle?

I was listening to KLOVE today and caught only the end of a conversation, but what I did hear made total sense and made me think about this topic like I hadn't before. This topic was about God not giving us "more than we can handle." You've heard this too haven't you? Whenever many things are being thrown your way, someone may say to you "God won't give you more than you can handle." Or maybe you have had that thought on your own. But today on the radio these two women were talking about how that way of thinking is actually a little backwards.

Shouldn't it actually be "God won't give you more than HE can handle?" Because we can't really handle anything without Him, right? So why would God not give us more than WE can handle? The Bible says "I can do most anything through Christ who strengthens me." So we know anything is possible, so why couldn't we handle what is coming our way? Is it maybe then that we can't handle it if it is more than God can handle?

Then at the same time I think to myself "But God is supernatural, He can handle all things....anything at all." And then I think that maybe this gives us a glimpse at the human side of God, after all, God is the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Maybe this reveals God as the Son of Man; that he relates to us as we go through life as humans. Maybe this shows us that God knows when it is "more than we can handle" because God knows how much he could handle in our position. So maybe when God sees that it is more than he can handle as the Son of Man, then it is more than we can handle as the children of God. And maybe this shows us a glimpse of God's compassion on his children.

God calls for us to lean on him in our times of need. He will give us rest. Christ cares for us. So, next time you think about how much you can handle, maybe the question to ask should be "how much can God handle?" And maybe we can learn to handle more by following God's word to cast our anxiety on Him, and to come to Him when we are weary and burdened.


Phillipians 4:13: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength"

Matthew 11: 28-30: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 19:26: "Jesus looked at them and said, With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."